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What comes to your mind when you hear the word "house" and what comes to your mind when you hear the word "home"? Those are just simple words which don't necessarily need to be thought. Not until I live my life now.

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Days go on. I have lived my life for many reasons. Too many, that I can't even see my self alive. I lived a very ambitious life. I lived a full of goals life. Was it bad? was it not right?. May be not. I have regretted my past for too long time. I have spent my future mourning over it. Did I get anything out of it? I honestly don't know.

Yet, what I understand now is I can see another life and I can describe it in another word. Every thing happens for reasons. That's what people say. Now I'm in the state of figuring out the reasons beyond my past life.

I dreamed to have a big house full of air conditioner; like houses of the rich I saw on TV. I  dreamed to have lots of money so that I can buy luxurious car, branded bags, shoes, and clothes. I dreamed to have a happy marriage and a happy family. I thought I could be happy with those things.

Yet, God had never blessed my dreams.  He "ruins" my beautiful dreams. I didn't have the big house I dreamed of. I wasn't able to make lots of money nor was I able to keep my marriage. I was so low. I committed suicide for many times which was always fail. I didn't know where to go  neither did I know my reason to live.

I tried so hard to stand and the sooner I tried to stand the sooner I fell apart. I don't how many times did I fall. the only thing I could remember is that I fell to the lowest degree of my life. I always think that I was alone.

At the end, I realized that God was always there, teaching me the lesson. He gave me a really difficult lesson and brought me the state I'm in now. He tried to introduce me with the true meaning of being happy and the true meaning of a house.

Now, I'm so happy even I've only got a small stilt house in the middle of a small village. I'm so happy even if I have to commute from the city to the village every weekend to make money. I'm so happy even I can't spend a little penny of my salary to buy even the cheapest bag, shoes, or clothes. Happiness is in my heart; not in the size of my house or in the bags, shoes, or clothes I wear.